


Winter's Fall

by Annerp, fannishlove



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Fix-It of Sorts, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Nuclear Winter, POV Bucky Barnes, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Snowpocalyspe, Stucky - Freeform, caprbb2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-15 18:34:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19301452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annerp/pseuds/Annerp, https://archiveofourown.org/users/fannishlove/pseuds/fannishlove
Summary: Tony snapped Thanos and his army. Not only those on Earth, but also the thousands of unseen ships still in the atmosphere. The battle may be over, but the ash continues to fall.Or, Steve and Bucky go on a snowy road trip.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is our collaboration for the CAPRBB 2019. 
> 
> **A/N** When the fantastic artwork that this story is based on came available, I jumped at the chance to write for it. Thank you fannishlove for your amazing work and cheerleading throughout this process. 
> 
> And I cannot thank Obsessivereader enough for betaing. Your dedication to not only helping me craft a better story, but also to giving me resources to continue to improve, is greatly appreciated.

 

****

**Winter’s Fall**

 

When the battle ended Bucky sought Steve out. There was no emotional reunion, no enveloping hug. Just a small nod of acknowledgement and a slight relaxing in the stiffness in Steve’s shoulders. Bucky stood back and watched Steve process Tony’s loss as the ash rained down around them. 

There was so much to do. Friends and families reunited. Loved ones to grieve. And the ash continued to fall at their feet, swirling in the dim, distorted, not quite light. It was later, when the Wakandans had returned home, Thor had left, Clint had gone back to his farm, when everyone else had gone to live a life, that Steve and Bucky were left. The ash still drifted lazily down around them, piling in drifts like snow, flitting on the wind, never allowing the light to shine through.

They ended up at Sam’s place. Steve seemed to settle for the first time in days. Being at Sam’s allowed them to be alone for the first time since everyone was brought back. And behind the door of the spare bedroom, Bucky was finally able to look, really look, at Steve. And what he saw was his Stevie, beautiful and brave, despite his hurts. 

When they came together for the first time in over seventy years, it was slow and tender, with trembling hands and shaky breaths. 

 

~~~~~~

_ His little Stevie is so beautiful, delicate and fierce. The way he bites his lip to hold back the little gasps that try to escape from his weakened lungs. Bucky is tempted to try harder to pull those sounds out from his diminutive lover, but he knows the walls are too thin, the neighbors too close and the risk too great. For now though, this is good.  _

_ ~~~~~~~~~ _

_ Bucky thought Steve was a dream, a supersized dream when he pulled Bucky and the rest of the 107th out of that base. Now he knows better.  _

_ “You thought I was smaller?” Steve is growling, breath harsh and quick against Bucky’s neck.  _

_ Not from strain. No, Steve has no problems manhandling Bucky’s body now. And Bucky is happy to let it happen. Happy to look up, or down, or back at Steve. Whatever Steve desires when they are alone like this. He is happy to see his Steve, strong and fierce and still so beautiful. _

_ ~~~~~~~~ _

_ There is a man. Determined and strong. Beautiful. With blond hair that the Asset wants to sweep away from bright blue eyes. The Asset doesn’t understand why he feels a vague sense of longing whenever he sees him. He just knows that man is his mission.  _

_ ~~~~~~~ _

_ Steve. This is Steve. The Asset...No, Bucky knows this is Steve. Steve is determined and resilient and beautiful. He knows this is Steve, but not much else beyond the unsettling sense of something lost. When it comes back to him, what they have lost, Bucky is too broken to even consider trying to get it back. _

_ ~~~~~~~~ _

_ There is one lingering, searing kiss in Wakanda. Just one. A reminder of what they once had and a promise for what is to come. Bucky keeps his eyes forward, locked on Steve as the glass starts to fog and ice over. He keeps his eyes there even after the glass is fully obscured. And as his thoughts slow and he drifts under, he focuses on Steve. He focuses on the beauty and tries to see past the resignation and the wariness, knowing that he is the cause. _

_ ~~~~~~~~ _

_ Steve is on the run, in hiding. That is what Bucky knows. That is what he has been told while he tends goats, while he reads, while he meditates. Shuri tells him he is healing. And he knows she is right. He is healing. But he is missing something that was lost almost seventy years ago and every fibre of his being just wants it back. He has to make do with letters. He wonders why in such an advanced society, his communications with Steve are simple paper and pen, but he also wondered why he lived in a hut, surrounded by goats and not in the vast cities of Wakanda. Until he came to accept that simply was what he needed right then.  _

_ ~~~~~~~~ _

_ “How you doin’ Bucky?”   _

_ “Not bad, for the end of the world.” _

_ It was brief. That one moment when Steve embraced him. And it had been bitter sweet. Bucky jokingly calls himself semi-stable, but in truth, this is the most stable he has felt since before his fall. When he looks at Steve though, he can still see his beauty, Bucky is sure there is nothing that can dim that, but Steve is also wounded and fragile. Bucky’s smile falters as he waits for the chance to get Steve alone.  _

_ It never comes. _

~~~~~~~~~

 

Bucky allows himself a moment to adjust to the overwhelming sense of completeness that seeps into him from where he has taken Steve into his body. He feels… everything, as his hips begins to rock.

When he finally forces his eyes open, he looks down at Steve and stills. “Steve?” 

His Steve. “Steve?”

His beautiful Steve. “Talk to me. Please… Steve?”

His fragile, wounded, broken Steve. “It’s okay… Shhhh… It’s okay… Don’t…Steve?” He reaches out to tenderly brush away the wetness at the corner of Steve’s eyes.

 

❄️

 

The TV is droning in the background while Bucky and Sam work in the kitchen. Bucky listens to it with half an ear while the rest of his attention is on Sam.

“I don’t know how to fix this,” he says in a hushed tone, eyes trailing over to look at Steve whose attention is focused on the screen.

**_Ash continues to fall over much of the Eastern Seaboard… health warnings expected to remain in effect for the indefinite future…_ **

“It’s not your job to fix it,” Sam tells him gently as he follows Bucky’s gaze. He frowns as he picks up some of the news report on the TV.

**_…temperatures have begun to drop…_ **

Sam turns his attention back to the pan on the stove in front of him. “What’s happened, everything he went through to get here, that can’t be fixed. All he can do is figure out how to move forward. That’s all any of us can do.”

“I just wish there was something I can do to help him.” Bucky says, full of longing and regret. He feels helpless in the face of this.

“You are helping him. Just by being here.” Sam lays a reassuring hand on Bucky’s back. “This is going to take time.”

A satellite map pops up on the screen and Steve leans forward, as if to study the swirls and movement.

**_…experts warn of a possible prolonged drop in temperatures along with possible winter storm conditions…_ **

Steve has been quiet, but both men see the way he shivers in his seat, pulling a throw blanket off the back of the couch and wrapping it around his shoulders.

 

❄️

 

It’s been eight days since half the universe came back and Bucky watches Steve through the patio doors. He tries not to intrude, tries to give Steve space. He knows Steve needs it. He needs time and Bucky wants to give him that. He wants to give Steve everything he needs. Even if it's not him right now. 

In the background the weather channel drones on, much as it has for the past several days.

**_…climate change brought on by… experts warn that temperatures will continue to plummet along the Eastern seaboard… National Guard, already deployed in the wake of the attack…_ **

 

❄️

 

Steve is standing, leaning forward, hands gripping the railing in front of him, the whites of his knuckles in contrast to the red of his fingertips. His one concession to the chill outside is a medium weight jacket that strains against his broad shoulders. A dusting of ash covers Steve’s hair, turning his normal golden locks a dull shade of gray. 

Bucky focuses on the way Steve's profile shifts and the way his eye lashes settle over cheeks that are beginning to pink underneath the beard that Steve has grown.

The first puff of breath and Bucky knows the temperature must have dropped again. And then there is another and another. His eyes flick to Steve's hands, still wrapped tightly on the rail and then back up to his face. Steve's eyes are closed, head hanging down, but not low enough that Bucky can't still see the little puffs of breath. 

His stomach flutters nervously as he watches Steve breathe, something tickling at the back of his mind, whispers of agonized gasps for air in a run-down apartment, a lifetime ago. 

Bucky's eyes shift and out of the corner of his vision he can see the edges of the patio door beginning to ice and those little puffs of breath, shorter and faster now. 

_ ‘Just breathe,’ a ghost of himself whispers, as he clutches at a frail body.... _

Bucky jerks the door open, stopped momentarily short by the drastic drop in temperature over the past ten minutes that Steve has been outside. Then he is wrapping his arms around the blond man from behind and dragging him back into the house. 

He isn't sure if he should be glad or scared that Steve doesn't fight him. Bucky pulls his hands away from Steve and stares at the wet ash streaking his skin and his shirt. He goes back outside and sticks his hand out to catch some of the falling ash. It sits wet and thick in his palm, heavy with the snow that mixes with it.

 

❄️

 

He’s standing at the window again. Staring out. Bucky approaches from the side, movements slow and measured. He already learned that not alerting Steve to his presence could be disastrous. Standing next to Steve, Bucky watches the snow as it falls heavy and dark, mixed with the ash that continues to drift from the sky. The result is a muddy, loose sludge that coats everything in sight. Bucky lets his eyes wander from the window to the TV, still tuned to the weather channel. 

**_… record low temperatures being reported… snow is expected to continue… possible long term climate change…_ **

 

❄️

 

It’s two days later when Bucky finds himself at the window watching the snow. Steve is huddled on the couch focused on the weather channel and Bucky can hear the soft murmur of Sam talking on the phone in the kitchen. He wants to take it as a good sign that the ash has finally slowed and the snow is more white than gray, but when Sam steps beside him and quietly exhales a long breath, Bucky knows he can’t.

“That was Rhodey,” he says, keeping his voice low, in hopes that Steve either won’t hear or won’t be interested enough to listen. “He said the government is mobilizing troops to assist in evacuations.”

“Evacuations? Do they really expect it to get that bad?”

“After everything… Rhodey said they are being cautious,” Sam confirms. 

“Does he needs us to help?” Bucky glances over at Steve and Sam follows his eyes. They both know Steve is not in the condition to be of much help. 

“No. Not at this point. He did say that he may call us in if it becomes necessary.”

 

❄️

 

The snow continues to fall and the temperature with it. At least now most of it comes down clean and white, with only the occasional streak of gray to taint it. Bucky finishes restacking the last of the canned goods on the basement shelves before counting the bottles of water again. There is an enormous pile of wood stacked in the backyard covered by a tarp and a generator with fuel ready to go. The weather reports warn to expect at least three more weeks of snow and possible sub zero temperatures, but Bucky figures they are as ready as they can be. 

He would have preferred to relocate for the duration of the storm, but apparently Steve had been listening to Sam and him talking and refused to go, in case Rhodey needed them. Bucky gets it. If they are needed, it makes more sense to stay where they are. 

 

❄️

 

The temperature continues to drop and Sam pulls out all the blankets and warm clothes in the house. They hunker down to wait out the storm. Steve stays quiet, watching the weather channel when he is not looking out the windows. Bucky was able to convince him to stop going outside when the snow piled up in front of the door. In bed at night, Steve allows himself to be pulled into Bucky’s arms, body finally relaxing just before he falls asleep. Even though Bucky wishes he could do more for Steve, at least he can be there in those few moments when Steve is able to let go and let Bucky hold him. 

 

❄️

 

The power goes out two days later. The thermostat on the patio has frozen over, but Bucky’s phone tells him it is -5 outside. The call comes from Rhodey later that night and it’s not one they expected. 

“I’ve been trying Pepper’s cell. Can’t get through to Friday either. I’ve been called up to Maine and don’t know when I’ll be able to get back,” Rhodey explains over the speaker phone.

Bucky glances at Sam, but before he can respond, Steve speaks up. “Bucky and I will go.”

“Thank you.” They can all hear the relief in Rhodey’s voice, “I’m sure they’re fine, but…”

Bucky cuts him off, “yeah, we should definitely check in.”

“How soon do you think you can leave?”

Steve looks at the door and Bucky can tell by the way his body tenses and knee starts to bounce that he would be willing to leave right then. 

“First thing in the morning,” Bucky says as he tries to ignore Steve’s frown.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter features the stunning piece of art work created by fannishlove that inspired this story.

**Chapter 2**

  
  


Bucky wakes up shivering and reaches for Steve, only to find his side of the bed empty and cold. Wrapping a blanket around his shoulders, Bucky wanders out to the living room. Steve is standing in front of the wide open front door staring outside. From over his shoulder, Bucky can see several feet of new snow that must have fallen during the night. Sam’s car is covered and the roads are impassable.

“I’ll call Rhodey,” he says, resting a hand on Steve’s shoulder.

Bucky grabs his phone from where they have been using the generator to charge it and places the call. 

“I know, I saw the satellite” Rhodey answers without greeting. “I’ve put in some calls, but there’s nothing I can do about the roads. If you can get to Fort McNair I can have some supplies and equipment set aside for you.”

Bucky does some quick calculations in his head. “On foot, in these conditions, we’re looking at a few hours, maybe longer.”

“Unless you have access to a couple of snowmobiles, I don’t know another way. I tried to call in a couple favors, but there’s no place to land a fixed wing and visibility is too low and winds too high  for a helicopter.”

Steve still hasn’t moved from the door and Bucky shivers again from the cold. “We’ll leave within the hour.”

Bucky ends the call and almost jumps when Sam speaks from behind him. “Lets get you geared up.”

The former pararescue pulls out his own phone and makes a quick call. When he is done, he tells Steve and Bucky to put on their boots and jackets before leading them outside and three houses down through the snow. 

An elderly gentleman meets them on the front porch. He is holding a shovel and gives Steve and Bucky an appraising look. “This way,” he grunts, gesturing to a large shed at the side of his house.

Handing the shovel to Bucky, he nods towards the three feet of snow piled up in front of the double doors. The former assassin sets to work, digging out an opening so they can get inside the shed.  It doesn’t take too long and soon enough, the man is walking around the room tossing items to Bucky and Steve as he goes. Once he is done, he ushers the men outside and relocks the doors.

“Thank you,” Bucky says as he hefts the items in his arms closer to his chest. 

The man just gives a nod in return and walks back into his house without another word. 

“So, that was Tom. He’s a bit of a survivalist, as you can tell,” Sam says. 

 

❄️

 

Bucky pulls his boots off and takes off his already soaked socks. “These are not made for running around in the snow,” he complains.

Steve is shuffling through the items Tom provided and pulls out a pair of insulated socks. He tosses them to Bucky with a smile. “Put these on and then put newspapers in your shoes. It’ll help.”

That little smile means the world to Bucky and he grins in return remembering when Steve used to put newspapers in his shoes to protect against the holes in the bottoms and even though he would never admit it, to also make himself look taller. It doesn’t take long to load up a pack with their gear along with some food and water. The pair bundle up the best they can to guard against the cold and then they are ready to go.

“I expect you to call me when you get to Fort McNair,” Sam tells them as he places a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, giving him a light squeeze. 

“Yes mom,” Bucky retorts with a roll of his eyes. 

“Let’s head out.” Steve is using his Captain’s voice and the soldier in Bucky wants to snap to attention, but the rest of him wants Steve to loosen up.

“Yes dad.”

Steve gives him an exasperated look and Bucky counts that as a win.

 

❄️

 

“Well this sucks.” 

Steve looks over in time as Bucky sinks up to his thighs for the second time in thirty minutes. 

“You weigh just as much as I do. How come you don’t sink?”

“Guess I’m just lighter on my feet,” Steve quips as he makes his way over to pull Bucky out.

They dig the snow shoes from their gear and start walking down the center of the street after that. The snow is easier to maneuver than it is closer to the sidewalks and buildings and even if they aren’t able to go much faster, at least Bucky doesn’t get stuck again.  

 

❄️

 

“Bucky!” Steve shouts as he stumbles forward on to his hands and knees.

The brunette loses his balance and follows him down where he lands on Steve. He lies there laughing and triumphantly clutching the three granola bars that he had been trying to pull out of the pack strapped to the blond’s back while they walked. 

Bucky rolls to the side, then groans when he realizes his butt is soaked. He holds out the granola bars as a peace offering and grins when Steve snatches two of them out of his hand with a chuckle. 

 

❄️

 

By the time Bucky recognizes the gates to Fort McNair ahead of them, he has lost not only all the feeling in his toes, but also any good humor he started the morning with. As they approach, the guard snaps to attention. 

“Captain Rogers,” he greets smartly with a salute. “Colonel Rhodes left instructions for you to be escorted to Officers’ Quarters so you can change and get warmed up. Your gear has already been loaded for your departure.”

“Thank you, Corporal. I believe we can find our way.” Steve returns the salute and heads off in the direction the guard indicates. 

The corporal lets them go. He has no intention of arguing with Captain America.

They find their assigned quarters easily enough and Bucky is already yanking his boots off before Steve can even get the door shut. 

“I’m going to take a hot shower,” he announces, eyeing the set of dry clothes already laid out on the bed.

If this were another time and another place, he would have suggestively asked Steve to join him and the blond would have, but here and now, Bucky knows it’s not a good idea. 

The shower is blessedly hot and defrosts Bucky’s toes quickly. He stays under the spray for an additional ten minutes just because he can, only feeling a little guilty for taking so long. 

He finally emerges, dressed in a full set of insulated winter gear to find Steve eating a plate of pasta. His attention is immediately drawn to the array of food spread out on the small dining room table. 

“That smells amazing.” 

He grabs a sandwich and happily starts eating. “You should get out of those wet clothes.” He gestures to Steve with his food before taking another large bite. 

Both fed and dressed in warm, dry clothes, they head off to collect their equipment. Steve is handed a three-page list of gear to sign for. It almost seems excessive considering they are standing in front of two snowmobiles that should allow them to reach the cabin in about eight to ten hours.

He hands the list to Bucky to look over. It's fairly complete. Extra clothes, rations, fire starter, extra fuel, a tool kit, first aid kit, thermal blankets, tents, short range comm gear and dozens of other items. 

“You can stay the night and start out first thing in the morning,” the lieutenant helping them suggests. 

Steve frowns and Bucky knows what he is going to say before he even opens his mouth. “We’ll leave now. We’ve already wasted too much time.” The brief playful demeanor from before is gone, Steve is all business again.

Bucky tries not to react visibly, but he can’t help feeling like the comment is directed at him for suggesting they wait until this morning to leave, instead of when Rhodey first told them about losing contact with Pepper. 

He pulls on the thick parka that is handed to him, then a pair of gloves. Steve is already pushing his snowmobile outside and climbing on before Bucky is finished putting his goggles on. 

 

❄️

 

Bucky has always known that Steve was reckless, and after seventy years, he had forgotten how much he hates riding in a vehicle with him. Following behind on his own snowmobile isn’t much better.

“Oof,” he yelps as he hits the bottom of another snowdrift.

He can’t be certain, but it is entirely possible that Steve is purposely steering them over or through every pile of snow he can find. The asshole.

By the third hour, Bucky has snow inside the hood of his parka, inside his boots and, inexplicably, down his pants.

He taps the comm in his ear. “Can we stop for a break?” He has to shout over the engine noise and the sound of the wind whistling by.

Having his own two feet under him again feels odd as Bucky walks around, trying not to cringe whenever his skin comes into contact with the front of his wet pants. They weren’t even riding all that long and he still feels the bone-deep vibration running through him.

Looking around, he spots an overpass not too far off. “If we head over there,” he says pointing slightly north east, “we can get out of this for a little while and maybe eat something.”

“We just ate a few hours ago,” Steve argues half-heartedly. 

The huge goggles on his face ruin the effect, but Bucky raises one eyebrow in what he knows is a look that would have shut Steve right up. If he had been able to see it. He does however, manage to cross his arms over his chest and jut one hip out in a very stubborn Steve Rogers kind of way.

Steve appears to get the point anyway and Bucky can tell he is trying not to smile.

“Fine, let’s go.” Steve swings his leg back over his seat and waits for Bucky to get on, but the brunet just shakes his head.

“It’s not that far. I’ll walk.” He grabs the handle bars and starts to push his snowmobile forward.

That earns him a smirk. “Suit yourself.” Steve revs his engine as though he is going to race off, but then only gives it enough gas to creep along next to Bucky as he starts to walk. 

They don’t get more than fifty feet before Bucky sinks down past his knees. His irritation is not helped by the shaking of Steve’s shoulders as he laughs at Bucky’s expense. 

“C’mon, Buck. Get on.”

The only response Steve gets is a snowball to the face. 

 

❄️

 

The overpass is large, with plenty of room to park the snowmobiles underneath. As they get closer Bucky slows, raising a hand to signal Steve who stops beside him. Up against one concrete wall is a pile of blankets too big to be anything but a person. 

Bucky approaches slowly hoping that whoever is under there has not succumbed to the cold. Carefully he pulls back one edge then waves for Steve to join him. Under the blankets, they find two teenage boys huddled together for warmth. 

“Hey,” Bucky says gently, reaching a hand out. 

The bigger of the two boys looks up and his face contorts into a grimace as he pulls the other smaller boy closer into his body. “We don’t have anything. Nuthin’ worth taking.”

“Are you out here by yourselves?”

“What’s it to ya?” the smaller boy challenges and Bucky can’t stop himself from smiling.

Steve comes up beside Bucky and looks down at the boys. “You guys hungry? We’re gonna have a fire and some food. We have plenty.”

A look passes over the smaller boy’s face that Bucky recognizes as hunger and desperation, but it is gone as quickly as it came. 

“We’re fine,” the older boy answers.

Bucky opens his mouth to argue, stopping when Steve gives a slight shake of his head and says, “Okay. Suit yourselves.”

He walks over to their gear and pulls out several ration packs and a couple of fake fire logs. Bucky helps gather up some rocks and chunks of concrete to make a rudimentary fire pit. Steve arranges three logs and lights them. The fire catches quickly and they spend a few moments marveling at the man-made logs. 

“Wish we had these back in the day,” Bucky laments.

Steve crouches down to warm his hands before starting to open eight meal kits in little metal tins. Bucky roots around in his gear until he pulls out a collapsible wire rack that he positions over the fire so the food can be cooked. 

While the food is cooking, Steve pulls out his phone and tries to call Sam. Shaking his head he puts it away. "No signal."

They are both on their second tin when the older boy approaches. “My brother hasn’t eaten since day before yesterday.” He keeps his eyes averted and Bucky can tell it is taking a lot for the boy to ask for anything. 

The brunet takes two of the kits and hands them to the boy. “Here, there’s more if you want it.”

The older men try not to stare at the boys as they eat and when the older boy drags his brother by one hand with their blankets in the other, over to sit by the fire, the men just take it in stride. Bucky pushes another of the meal kits over towards them with his boot without looking away from the flames. And when Steve grabs two bottles of water from their gear and sets them nearby, no one comments on it.

“You’re Captain America right?” These are the first words the younger boy has spoken since they first arrived.

Steve’s eyes flick to Bucky who grins and answers for him. “Yeah kid, he is.”

“You and the Avengers brought us all back.”

This time Steve’s eyes open wide and it’s clear that he doesn’t know how to respond. Thankfully, he doesn’t have to as the older brother speaks up. “Me n’ Scotty,” he gestures to the smaller boy, “when we came back, there wasn’t nobody there. Our house looked like no one had been there for years.” 

“What about your family?” Bucky asks, trying and failing to keep his voice steady.

“Don’t know. We have an aunt, lives in Virginia. That’s where we were headed. Tried to call her, but…” He shrugs his shoulder. “Figured maybe she might know where mom and dad are. Snow kinda slowed us down.” His expression is sour as he looks out at the still falling snow.

“Bucky? Can you give me a hand with something?” Steve asks as he stands and walks over to their gear.

The brunet follows behind without question, already knowing what Steve has in mind. They work silently, sorting through their supplies until they have it divided into two piles. Reloading the snowmobiles goes faster, but between that, making a fire and seeing to dinner earlier, the sun has started to set. 

Bucky grabs both tents and bedrolls, taking them over to a level patch of ground. The tents are small, meant for one person to sleep in comfortably, or two if they hold each other close for warmth. 

“It’s getting dark so if you don’t mind, we’ll hang out here and head out in the morning?” Steve phrases it as a question letting the boys know they can say no.

“No. It’s good. You can stay,” the older brother reassures. “I’m Joey, by the way.”

Smiling warmly, Bucky responds, “Thanks. I’m-“

Joey cuts him off. “The Winter Soldier. We know.”

Bucky freezes and looks over at Steve. He wasn’t expecting to be recognized. Certainly not the way that Steve gets recognized. “And you’re not, um, afraid…of me?”

“No.”

He can’t describe the way that simple word makes him feel. These kids know who he is, which means they also know what he has done. And they aren’t afraid. At least not of him. A small smile graces his face for the rest of the night. 

 

❄️

 

Bucky wakes up with Steve pressed tight to his back. The little one-man tent is small, but right now, it’s the perfect size. He’s warm and safe and in his best guy’s arms. 

“Do you think they’re gonna be okay?” Steve mumbles sleepily against his neck.

“Yeah. I think so.” 

They lie there in silence for a little while longer enjoying the shared warmth and closeness.

Steve sighs and runs his hand down Bucky's side. "We should probably get up and get ready to head out."

"Yeah." Bucky tries to suppress the shiver that travels through his body. He hopes that if Steve notices he will assume it's from the cold.

Reluctantly, Bucky crawls out of the tent and pulls on his insulated pants and jacket. Steve is right behind him. Together they start a fire and begin heating up some of the meal kits for breakfast. 

Steve pulls out a couple of packets of instant coffee and after adding water and heating it up, they sit beside the fire trying to ignore the way the bitter taste takes them both back to their days with the Howlies. 

"This is pretty gross," Bucky chuckles as he takes another drink. 

Steve barks out a laugh and then abruptly shuts his mouth when they hear the boys start to stir in their tent. They share a look between themselves and then both start laughing. It feels nice and Bucky takes another drink from his disgusting coffee, savoring the taste and the moment. 

The brothers finally emerge from their tent about twenty minutes later. Bucky hands them each a set of insulated pants and jacket which the boys gratefully pull on. Scotty's small frame swimming in the too-large clothes reminds him of his little Stevie from so long ago.

He glances over at the blond who is breaking down the tents and packing them away and smiles. He helps Scotty roll the cuffs on his pants up and then hands a scrap of paper with an address on it to Joey. 

“This is our friend Sam’s place in D.C. Go there, tell him Steve and Bucky sent you. He’ll help you find your family. Can you read a map and use a compass?” Bucky asks, and then quickly realizes that most kids these days can’t.

He is surprised and more than a little skeptical when Scotty answers. “I can.”

The boy looks indignant at the way Bucky raises an eyebrow at him. “I learned in Boy Scouts. How do ya think we got this far?”

To prove his point, Scotty roots around in their meager belongings until he finds a small compass and a worn, but neatly folded map.

Bucky grins at the boys. “Great, let me show you where Sam’s place is.”

He can hear Steve behind him making sure Joey can operate one of the snowmobiles. 

“It shouldn’t take more than a few hours to get to Sam’s,” Steve tells him as Bucky helps Scotty get on the back. “Good luck.”

“You too.”

The brothers are only gone for ten minutes when it starts to feel weird. It’s too quiet. But when Bucky sits on their snowmobile and Steve gets on behind him, wrapping his arms around Bucky’s waist, he forgets all about it. 

 

❄️

 

They make good progress for several hours before the terrain changes, forcing Bucky to slow down and then finally stop to get their bearings amongst the trees.

When Steve lets go of him, Bucky almost groans at not only the loss of warmth across his back, but also from the sense of closeness with Steve that he has only been allowed to have at night when they sleep. 

“This looks like as good a place as any to eat,” Bucky remarks as he gets off and starts pulling out the ration packs they have left. “Really isn’t a good place for a fire to heat these though. Think you can stand to eat ‘em cold? It’ll be just like back in ‘44.” Bucky is smiling as he tosses a couple of the packs to Steve.

“Yeah. Just like ‘44,” Steve echoes quietly to himself as Bucky turns back to the snowmobile to grab water. 

Steve is seated cross legged on a huge boulder, food tins to his left and his map spread out over his lap. He holds his compass in one hand and runs his fingers over the map with the other. 

"This is why you don't get to drive," Steve tells Bucky as he lifts his head to try and spot any clues to help pinpoint their exact location on the map. 

"Did you try Google Maps?"

Steve opens his mouth to respond when Bucky bursts out laughing at his own joke. "Jerk," Steve says.

Bucky climbs on the rock and peers over Steve's shoulder. He reaches out and traces his finger over a portion of the map. "We should be able to see this mountain ridge if we can get out in the open."

"Then let's go. Hopefully we're pretty close."

 

❄️

 

Bucky slows to a stop when they reach open ground. This time Steve doesn't release him right away and instead stays pressed up against his back for a few precious moments. When he does finally get off the snowmobile, the chill doesn't bother Bucky quite so much. 

The brunet walks about twenty feet away while Steve pulls out the map and compass again. "What do you think?" he calls out to Bucky.

They both hear the creak of ice shifting and Bucky looks back at Steve in alarm as the ground rumbles beneath his feet.

"Steve?"

"Don't move. Just stay where you are." Steve looks around frantically for a second then forces himself to take a breath and think clearly. 

The snow crumbles a few feet away from Bucky, falling down into a crack that has opened up. 

"I may have a problem here."

Grabbing the rope from their gear, Steve coils one end in his hands and then throws the length out to Bucky who catches it deftly.

"Tie it around you and then slowly start walking back," Steve tells him using his Captain's voice to hide his fear.

There is a loud crunching and then more snow falls away. Bucky holds the rope, but starts to run as the ground beneath his feet gives way. 

He isn't fast enough and the line goes taut in Steve's hand for a moment as Bucky tries to hold on. A rush of snow and rocks drag him down and he loses his grip on the rope. 

Bucky can hear Steve screaming above him and catches a glimpse of the blond reaching out to catch him. 

_ Please let him catch me. _

 

❄️

 

Everything hurts. That's the first thing Bucky becomes aware of. The second is that he can't move and the third is that he can't draw enough breath into his lungs to try and yell for help.

He knows Steve will come for him. He knows it. And so he lies in the snow at the bottom of a ravine and waits for his lover to find him while he tries to ignore the voice in the back of his head whispering to him that last time he fell, Steve left him for dead.

As a sniper, Bucky was trained to stay perfectly still for long hours. He tries to fall back on that skill and for a time it helps. He is able to ignore the uncomfortable position he is stuck in and slows his breathing to ease the pressure on his lungs. 

He thinks about all the things he loves about Steve, which is soothing, then he thinks about all ways Sam irritates him, which is kind of fun. He consciously works on not remembering being dragged over the snow, his destroyed arm trailing blood behind him. He is only slightly successful. 

He is completely unsuccessful at pushing away the memories of waking up from cryo temporarily blind, shivering, confused and always in pain. His heart rate starts to pick up when he can hear the crunching of boots through snow. They've found him. Zola's men. 

They'll take what's left of his arm. They will take away his humanity. He has to get away. He has to fight. 

Bucky tries to lash out at the hand that grabs for him, but he can't move. He can't get free. 

"Bucky!"

A hand reaches for him again and this time all he can do is flinch.

"Bucky. It's me. It's Steve."

"Stevie?"

"Yeah. It's me. I'm here." Steve's voice sounds watery and hurt, but Bucky doesn't have time to think about that as pain lances through his right leg. 

When Steve lifts the tree trunk that had been pinning him down, Bucky thinks he might have screamed. He can't be sure, but judging by the expression on Steve's face, it's highly likely. 

"Can you walk?" Steve asks as he runs his hands over Bucky's body checking for injuries. 

The brunet experimentally moves his arms and legs, only wincing a little at the shooting pain in his right leg. "I think so."

Steve helps him to his feet and then wraps an arm around Bucky's waist to help support him as he walks. 

"So, the good news is, I found the cabin. Or at least the lake." Steve says as they slowly walk. "The bad news is our transportation is up there." He points up a vertical wall of ice and snow. Up to where Bucky had been standing before the snow caved in below him. 

"How far is it to walk?"

"Probably about three hours, that direction. It would be faster on the snowmobile, but I'd have to hike up to get it and it took me almost two hours to find a safe way down to you. Back up will be worse."

Bucky is silent for a few moments as he walks along with Steve's help. 

"It's up to you," the blond prompts.

"We'll walk."

 

❄️

 

As far as Bucky is concerned that cabin is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. In his entire life. Better than a sunrise. Better than the sleekest most expensive sports car. The only thing that may compare is the sight of his beautiful Stevie naked, covered in a sheen of sweat, eyes blown wide with lust.

And right now, hungry and cold and in pain as he is, the cabin is winning.

Bucky leans heavily against the wall while Steve knocks on the door. 

"Power’s on," Steve remarks, gesturing to the warm light shining through the gap in the curtains. 

Bucky just gives a thumbs up to indicate he is listening, too tired to do much else. 

Steve knocks again and this time a confused-looking Pepper Potts opens the door. "Steve! What are you doing here?" She looks him over quickly and then sees Bucky leaning against the wall. "Oh my god. Come in. What happened?"

She ushers them into the house, sitting them down, grabbing blankets and starting coffee all with the efficiency of a woman used to running a multi billion dollar company.

Bucky waits for Steve to answer. But he doesn't. The blond sits on the couch running his fingers over the edge of the blanket across his shoulders.

"Rhodey sent us,” Bucky explains. “He couldn't reach you on your cell phone and wasn't able to get through to Friday." 

Pepper smiles warmly as she pours coffee for them all. "Friday said the nearest cell phone tower went down a couple of days ago. But I don't know why he couldn't contact her."

"I can answer that," the AI responds. "The atmospheric ash damaged my satellite interface. Communications will be intermittent at best until repairs can be made."

Bucky nods and looks to Steve again for input. But there is none. 

"So you and Morgan are okay?" he asks, frowning slightly.

Pepper picks up on it and smiles reassuringly. "We're fine. We have enough supplies to keep us going for at least a few months. Tony-" She pauses and takes a steadying breath."He made sure this place was fairly self-sufficient and fully stocked."

Bucky is relieved to hear that. He would be even more relieved if Steve would speak. But he doesn't. 

He reminds himself that Steve is hurting, still reeling from the loss of several of his closest friends. And knowing the last two times Steve was here was for Natasha and Tony's funerals only makes it worse. 

Bucky knows Steve is doing his best to cope with a lifetime of trauma. He knows when Steve fluctuates between the soft warm man Bucky wants to hold every night, the hard commanding man Bucky follows without question and the wounded frightened man Bucky wants to protect, Steve is still doing his best. 

He knows Steve is trying even though he can't do anything other than sit on the couch with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. 

Bucky is pretty sure Pepper knows it too. "There is a guest cabin. Why don't we get you set up so you can get some rest?"

She phrases it as a question, but it's such an obvious order that even Steve stands up to follow her out.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter for our CAPRBB2019 collaboration. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you to the MODS for putting together this bang and wrangling hundreds of artists and authors into such a great event.
> 
> Special thanks to my beta Obsessivereader for all the help, advice and encouragement.
> 
> Finally, I cannot say enough about my collab partner Fannishlove. Their artwork inspired me to step outside of my normal writing comfort zone, that is how wonderful it is. 
> 
> And now, please enjoy what we are affectionately calling 'Towel Steve'.

Chapter 3

 

Bucky stands at the window watching the snow as it continues to fall. The heat from the fireplace keeps the chill out of the air and he feels comfortable in only a pair of sleep pants that he found in the closet, but he still shivers when strong arms wrap around his waist from behind. 

“I’m sorry.” The words are choked, Steve’s breath warm against his neck.

He tries to turn around, but Steve only holds him tighter and presses his lips against Bucky’s shoulder at the junction of flesh and metal. He can feel Steve’s beard prickle against his skin.

Bucky gives up trying to move and instead relaxes back against Steve’s chest, just now noticing that they are skin to skin. He shivers again and tries to control his body’s reaction. This isn’t the time for that. And after last time…

“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” he responds, bringing his hands up to cover Steve’s over his abdomen. 

Steve tightens his arms again, eliminating any space between them. “You had to pull me out of so many fights when we were kids. I was too weak to take care of myself and too stupid to know any better. Then too sick to get into the army, but too stubborn to quit trying. And when I did finally get in, I was running around in tights, while you were out there risking your life. I wasn’t there when you were captured-“

“Steve,” Bucky starts to interrupt, but then he stops when he catches the blond’s expression reflected in the window, fierce and determined and so he stays quiet, knowing that Steve needs to get this off his chest. He meets Steve’s gaze in the glass and waits for him to continue.

Pulling in a shuddering breath, Steve starts once more. “When you fell...” His voice hitches and he tries again. “When you fell... I should have done more, I should have been able to get to you. Or gone back, but I didn’t. I left you there to be taken. God Buck, I should have looked. Instead I went into the ice. I was selfish and stupid and I left you there. And they… what they did to you. I finally got you back only to lose you again when Thanos… I should have been able to… I wasn’t...”

Steve pauses and huffs out a breath as he rests his forehead between Bucky’s shoulder blades. "I let you fall again. I keep…I don't know why I can't-" He cuts off with a sob, squeezing Bucky just a little tighter.

The former assassin wants to comfort his love, to deny what Steve is saying, to brush it away, but Steve isn’t looking for comfort, he isn’t looking to be told none of this was his fault. He is looking for forgiveness. And that is something Bucky can give.

He gently pulls Steve’s hands away and tries not to react to the small whimper that the blond chokes back. Turning, he wraps his arms around Steve and pulls him close to whisper in his ear, “I forgive you.”

Bucky isn’t quite prepared for the way Steve sinks further into his embrace, forcing Bucky to hold him tighter so he doesn’t collapse, or for the way Steve’s chest heaves, breaths coming loud and fast. He tries not to flinch away from the tears that fall on his bare shoulder as Steve weeps openly in his arms. 

He holds Steve close, running a hand up and down his back and allows him to mourn his friends, his failures and the choices he was forced to make. Bucky holds him as Steve grieves a century of loss and pain and heartache and Bucky continues to hold him long after his tears have ceased and his body has stopped shaking. 

 

❄️

 

Bucky looks at Steve while he sleeps, allowing his eyes to caress the blond’s body in a way that his hands cannot without risking waking him up. Instead of giving in to the urge to touch Steve’s skin or run his fingers through his soft hair, Bucky forces himself out of bed. 

Getting dressed, he walks the short distance to the main cabin to check on Pepper and Morgan. He finds them in the kitchen making breakfast. It all looks so domestic, so comfortable, he can almost forget that they are mourning too. 

“Where’s Steve?” Pepper asks. 

“Sleeping.” Bucky can’t get over the warmth in her voice or the kindness in her eyes, despite everything she has been through.

“Good. He needs it,” she says, turning to the stove to check on the food while Morgan sits at the table coloring and humming quietly to herself. 

“Is there anything you need? More wood? Anything from the freezer?” Bucky wants to be useful, needing a way to express his gratitude and appreciation for the way Pepper has handled everything, especially given Bucky’s history with Tony. 

Pepper doesn’t turn around when she responds. “We’re fine. Thank you. But if you and Steve are going to stay for awhile, and I hope you do,” she adds, “I think there is something in Tony's work shop that you may need.”

Bucky’s brows draw together in confusion, but before he can say anything, Morgan jumps down from her chair and grabs his hand. “I’ll show you.”

She pulls him towards the back door as Pepper calls out, “Morgan, come right back, breakfast will be ready in a minute. And Bucky, when you’re done, I’ll have some for you to take to Steve.”

He allows himself to be pulled along until they are in Tony’s workshop. Morgan flips on the lights and then swipes her hand across a screen next to the door. 

“James.” Bucky jumps when he hears Tony’s voice from across the room. The billionaire steps out from behind a machine that Bucky cannot even begin to guess the purpose of. Behind him, he can hear the door close and he glances back noting that Morgan has gone back into the main house. 

Bucky eyes Tony warily as he circles around the room and moves to perch on the edge of a stool. As he walks, Tony’s body moves through the filtered light from the windows and Bucky’s mind finally grasps what he is seeing. 

A hologram, a very convincing hologram. 

“When I was up there,” Tony points at the ceiling, “in space, waiting to die, I had a lot of time to think. To try and make peace with everything that I could. I told myself that if I ever got back, if I ever had the chance, I would do just that.”

Swallowing hard, Bucky is torn between stepping closer and running away, but his body is rooted in place as Tony continues. He reminds himself that Tony can’t hurt him. A small part of him wishes he could.

“If you’re here and listening to this, then that means we won. It also means that I’m gone. I hope I went out in some spectacular fashion. Something flashy and brilliant. If not, tell Pepper to have the PR department make up something cool,” Tony jokes, before turning serious again. “Since you’re here, I know that means Steve is too. Take care of him. He’s a good man. And a true friend. And he deserves to be happy. So I’m trusting you. I’m trusting you to take care of him. I am trusting you to be the man Steve loves, not the one Hydra tried to make you. Because of all the things you may have done in your life and all of the things you will do in the future, this is the most important. To care for the people you love.”

Tony’s image disappears and Bucky is left standing there staring at the empty stool. It is some minutes later that Pepper opens the workshop door and comes in. “He’s something else, isn’t he?” she says, with a small sad smile. 

Bucky wants to respond, but when he opens his mouth, nothing comes out except a deep exhale. 

“I made you some breakfast to take back to Steve,” Pepper tells him, then leads him back out of the shop. 

He ends up wandering back over to the guest cottage with several containers of food and a dazed look on his face. When he opens the door he is greeted by the sight of a 6’2”, blond-haired super soldier wearing only a towel around his waist. He tries not to stare. He really does, but it’s hard to drag his eyes away from Steve. 

And that’s a bit of a complicated mess, because even though Bucky wants him, and god does he want him, he hasn’t done anything more than hold Steve at night since their first failed attempt back at Sam’s place.

“Pepper, uh, sent breakfast over. If you’re hungry.” 

Bucky stops to pull off his boots and jacket then forces his feet forward into the small kitchen and places the containers on the counter. 

He keeps his back to Steve as he opens each one and retrieves plates and utensils from the cabinets. He makes two heaping servings and finally turns around to offer one to Steve. The blond takes the plate, with one eyebrow raised and walks over to sit at the little table in front of the large window overlooking the lake. 

Setting his own plate on the table, Bucky goes back to pour two cups of coffee as he debates asking Steve to put on some clothes. He doesn’t though. Instead, he opts for bringing his chair around the table so he can look out the window while he eats.

“What do you want to do today,” he asks after several minutes. He glances over as Steve pushes the food around on his plate with a fork.

Steve purses his lips together and Bucky can see the little crease that forms between his eyes, when he has something in his head that he wants to say. He pushes his plate away and sits back, ready to wait for Steve to tell him whatever is on his mind. He doesn’t have to wait long.

“I miss you, Buck.” 

At first he thinks he must have misheard. Until Steve speaks again. “I go to sleep with your arms around me each night. And it’s nice, but I miss you. I miss touching you. I miss running my hands over your body, exploring every inch of you. I miss tasting your lips, your skin. I miss having you touch me with your fingers and your mouth. I miss the way our bodies fit together so perfectly. The way you move when I’m in you. The way you grip me so tight that I can hardly breath with how good it feels. I miss all of it. I miss us.”

Bucky’s brain had stuttered to a halt as he listened to Steve, but the blush that spreads over his face and down his chest when he stopped talking was enough to kick start Bucky’s mind again.

“Well...” He blows out a long unsteady breath and licks his lips. “That’s all fine and good, but it didn’t really answer my question.” He smirks at Steve with one eyebrow quirked and then grins when the corner of Steve’s mouth curls up.

“Jerk.”

“Punk.”

Standing, Bucky reaches out and offers his hand to Steve. The blond takes it and rises to his feet easily when Bucky gives a little tug. 

Now Bucky is glad he didn’t ask Steve to get dressed because it makes it that much easier to run his hands over the blond’s body. He brushes his fingers along the lines of Steve’s hips, pushing the towel down to the floor. Running his hands over the planes of Steve’s stomach, Bucky tries to commit every inch to memory. 

His palms glide over the muscles of Steve’s back, up to his shoulders and down his arms. Stepping back, Bucky looks him over, trying to decide where to touch Steve next. Now that he has been given permission, he can hardly process all his desires at once. 

“What do you want?” he asks, as he searches the blond’s face for any trace of hesitation. He finds none, only a reflection of his own desire gazing back at him. 

Normally Bucky loves the blue in Steve’s eyes, but secretly he favors this - when all there is, is the black of Steve’s pupils blown wide. 

Steve’s mouth is open, tongue just touching his lips, breath coming in short pants. If they were younger, if this was before, he would have worried about Steve’s asthma, but not anymore. This is Steve overcome with desire and Bucky almost groans with that knowledge.

“What do you want?” he repeats, bringing one hand up to tangle in the hair at the back of Steve’s neck, knowing that the blond is sensitive there. He gives a slight tug to get his attention and then smiles when it works. 

Steve rubs a hand across his bearded face while his cheeks tinge pink and there is something about it that Bucky finds erotic. It seems like an eternity before Steve finally whispers, “Everything. I want everything.” 

And that Bucky can do. He can give Steve everything.

He considers the things Steve liked before as he pulls his shirt over his head and discards it with Steve’s towel. Then rids himself of his pants and underwear. Sinking down to his knees he looks up through his lashes, stomach clenching when Steve groans.

“Bucky…” He hisses when the brunet wraps his flesh hand around his length. 

Steve is already hard and leaking when Bucky leans in and licks lightly over the head. He brings a trembling hand up and brushes brown locks out of Bucky’s face and his breath hitches when their eyes meet. His eyes fall closed as Bucky moves forward, taking more of him in his mouth. 

“Buck…oh god...” 

Reaching up, Bucky takes Steve’s right hand and places it on the back of his head. The left he presses against the side of his jaw as he gives control over to his lover. He swears he can almost feel the wave of arousal that flows through Steve at that. 

The blond starts to move, hips thrusting gently, gliding his length in and out of Bucky’s welcoming mouth. The hand in Bucky’s hair tightens and Steve’s fingers shift down his jaw to where he can feel his cock moving in his throat. 

Bucky starts to stroke along his own hard length, needing friction to ease the ache in his loins. He can feel Steve’s hips stutter and raises his eyes. The blond looks absolutely wrecked, lips red and swollen from where he has been biting at them, chest heaving, covered in a sheen of sweat, eyes looking down at Bucky, pleading for release as he starts to pull away.

Holding the backs of Steve’s thighs to keep him in place, Bucky growls around the blond’s cock, sending him over the edge with a choked-off cry. 

Pulling back, Bucky wipes a hand across his face. His erection is throbbing and leaking against his leg, but he waits, knowing what usually comes next. He isn’t disappointed.

“Touch yourself,” Steve tells him, voice low and strained. There is a pleading note to it that has Bucky complying without hesitation. 

He takes himself in hand and slowly strokes up and down his length once before Steve tells him to stop. It takes every ounce of self-control to pull his hand away.

“Would you, uh…your left hand?” Bucky’s eyes widen slightly. “You don’t have to! I mean...I just...” His eyebrows are drawn together, face pinched in distress.

“Steve. Stevie… Hey… Look at me.” Bucky takes his left hand and touches himself, squeezing slightly, allowing his eyes to fall closed. “I like it this way.” He looks back up at Steve again, “I need slick though.”

The blond practically trips in his rush to the bathroom to grab the small bottle of lube he discovered that morning with the toiletries. Bucky has to stifle a laugh at how eager Steve is, but he turns serious again when Steve sinks down to his knees in front of him. 

Bucky watches him open the bottle and pour some of the liquid over his own fingers. He reaches out and tentatively strokes over Bucky’s cock, spreading the lube around. Bucky moans at his touch, but it turns into a whine when Steve pulls back, eyes locked on him expectantly. 

He grips himself and gives a slow short stroke, relishing the smooth slick feeling of the metal over his too hot skin. The feeling is indescribable and he is soon lost to it. 

“Buck…you look...is it good? Does it feel good?” Steve murmurs.

“It’s so good,” he forces out through gritted teeth. He’s so close already, but doesn’t want to come yet. This is too perfect and he wants it to last. 

Steve shuffles around until he is behind Bucky, chest pressed up against the brunet’s back. He reaches around and places his hand over Bucky’s metal one and they move together. 

“Steve...Steve…please…” He isn’t sure what he is pleading for. More? Less? But the sensation of slick fingers trailing down the cleft of his ass, reminds him exactly what he is begging for. 

Guiding their hands to the base of Bucky’s cock, Steve squeezes as he pushes one finger inside. Bucky moans wantonly and tries to thrust forward into his fist and fuck back onto Steve’s finger at the same time. 

“Hold still,” Steve whispers against his neck before placing a wet kiss on his skin. 

Bucky stills, trapped between Steve’s hands, thighs trembling as the blond works his finger into him. The hand covering Bucky’s on his cock continues to squeeze, holding back his orgasm, but only just. When a second finger breaches him Bucky moans again and Steve echoes it before sucking gently at his neck. 

He knows he can come just like this, with Steve’s fingers buried deep inside him, his mouth on his neck and hand squeezing his aching cock. But he wills himself to hold on. He wants to hold on for Steve. 

“You look so good.” 

Steve’s breath ghosts across his neck as the blond speaks, Bucky can feel his beard as it rubs over his skin and inexplicably that excites him even more. 

Bucky opens his mouth to say something, but snaps his mouth shut when Steve pushes a third finger in. He is certain Steve is smiling against his shoulder. His hips start to shift up and back on their own and he can’t hold still any longer. 

“Steve,” he whines.

Steve pulls his fingers out and pushes his hands between Bucky’s thighs until the brunet shifts his knees further apart. He can feel Steve’s cock as it nudges against his entrance. There is a slight pressure as the blond presses against him and then the welcome intrusion as they become one. 

When Steve is fully inside him, they hold like that, relishing the way they are so intimately joined. It is perfect. Until Bucky feels it. Steve’s tears on his shoulder. He tries to pull away, out of Steve’s grasp, cursing himself for pushing the blond into this again when he is still obviously not ready. 

A strong arm wraps around his chest, pulling him closer. “Bucky, this is good. I’m good,” Steve reassures. 

Twisting his head around, Bucky looks at his lover. He can see the tear tracks down his face, but he can also see the desire and love in his eyes. 

Steve brings their lips together in a tender kiss that takes Bucky’s breath away. When the blond shifts his hips, Bucky moans and Steve takes the opportunity to press his tongue into Bucky’s mouth. The kiss deepens as Steve starts to rock back and forth in the brunet’s body. He keeps his right arm wrapped around Bucky’s chest while he guides both their left hands over Bucky’s straining length. 

Bringing his right hand up, Bucky tangles his fingers in the hair at the back of Steve’s neck as they move together, lips only parting long enough to breathe and murmur _ I love yous _ to each other. Bucky can feel his arousal coiling tight in his belly and his body stiffens against Steve’s. Steve keeps moving his hips, his hand, his mouth, and Bucky allows the sensations to push him over the edge as he comes over both their hands. 

His body starts to sag forward unable to support himself, but Steve holds him close, keeping their bodies pressed tightly together. “I missed you so much,” he chokes out as his cock pulses and he comes deep within Bucky’s body. 

Bucky has just enough presence of mind to turn and kiss Steve again. “I missed you too.”

 

❄️

 

Steve is lying half across Bucky on the large bed. His head rests over Bucky’s heart while the brunet runs his hand over his back. 

“Pepper said she hopes we stay for awhile,” Bucky says, as he brings his hand up to comb through Steve’s hair. 

Steve hums quietly. “What do you think?”

“I don’t think it’s a bad idea. We can let Sam know and maybe stay for awhile, just spend some time together.”

Steve climbs off the bed and walks over to the window. The snow has stopped and the sun is shining. A blue bird flits around and lands on a tree branch. Bucky comes up behind him and wraps his arms around his lover. 

“I think I’d like that.” 

  
  


 

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you like it, we would love to hear about it.


End file.
